Review: Even If I Fall by Abigail Johnson

Even If I Fall

By Abigail Johnson

My Rating: 3 Stars

Hardcover, 346 pages

Published January 8th 2019

      Summary From Goodreads:

A year ago, Brooke Covington lost everything when her beloved older brother, Jason, confessed to the murder of his best friend, Calvin. Brooke and her family became social pariahs, broken and unable to console one another. Brooke’s only solace remains the ice-skating rink, where she works but no longer lets herself dream about a future skating professionally.

When Brooke encounters Calvin’s younger brother, Heath, on the side of the road and offers him a ride, everything changes. She needs someone to talk to…and so does Heath. No one else understands what it’s like. Her brother, alive but gone; his brother, dead but everywhere. Soon, they’re meeting in secret, despite knowing that both families would be horrified if they found out. In the place of his anger and her guilt, something frighteningly tender begins to develop, drawing them ever closer together.

But when a new secret comes out about the murder, Brooke has to choose whose pain she’s willing to live with—her family’s or Heath’s. Because she can’t heal one without hurting the other

My Review:

I don't know, I have conflicting emotions about this book. On one hand I liked how this story was about healing, and growing, and loving someone even if you also kind of hate them because they've done something terrible.

But also, this book hurt my soul. I felt so terrible for Laura and Brooke and her whole family because they're being treated terribly because of something Jason did. It was so unfair that they were treated the way they were, because they didn't do anything wrong. I get that those things happen in real life, but dude. I hurt so bad for them.

I'm not sold on the relationship between Heath and Brooke, to be honest. Yes, they can talk about everything and understand (kind of) what the other one is going through. But Heath was still kind of a jerk to Brooke. She has to be careful what she says and does because it will set him off and he'll get angry at her, so she's always walking on egg shells and trying not to say anything that will upset him... I just... I don't know if I support their relationship yet. Right now, it seems more destructive than constructive. Maybe the longer they're together, the better it will get?

I think that everyone involved on both sides should have gone to counseling, they could have driven somewhere far enough away from their awful judge-y little small town to talk to someone, because I think that would have helped with a lot of the issues that were happening.

I have torn feeling about this book you guys, and I don't know what to do about it.